Counter-Obsession
Something can happen to survivors when they they come to understand the dynamics of abuse and the effect it has had upon them. Survivors will naturally want to bring the primary aggressor 'to justice' and expose the true nature of his behavior to others.
This can become an obsession which has two drawbacks for the survivor; 1) it keeps her from concentrating on herself or her children (even if it otherwise safe to do so) and, 2) being less skillful than the primary aggressor on managing impressions, it can make her appear paranoid, vindictive, or even capable of mistreating the primary aggressor.
Having been terrorized, survivors do what every terror victim does, they become conditioned to examine all clues carefully for the possibility of danger, even ambiguous clues. When reporting danger or basic coercion, a survivor will often be agitated, disorganized, and label ther primary aggressor's instrumental behavior abusive before the nature of this behavior is clear to naive third parties.
I call this counter-obsession because it stems from the abusive obsession of the primary aggressor, but it will be more visible and certainly has the potential to make the survivor look like the one "with the problem" to the uninformed.